Lately, I haven't had much to write about because nothing is wrong for once.
And that's what I normally base my entries on, my emotions.
I want to try to tell people how I feel about them, slowly but surely.
1. You've stood by my side through everything. Even when times were tough. Even when I didn't stand by you. I cannot thank you enough for being such a wonderful person and best friend to me. I love you.
2. I told you I hated players. Stop trying to get with me. I'm not gonna put out like all the other sluts you've been with.
3. I don't know why I care about you so much, and I don't know why I love you. All I do know is that we've tried this, us, and it doesn't work. Maybe no matter what we'd like to think, what I refuse to think, is that we're just not supposed to happen. We're not supposed to be together. I'm sorry. It sucks, I know. Maybe once you love yourself you can love me. You can't love ANYBODY unless you love yourself. Hit me up when that happens.
4. I wish you'd tell me secrets. The thing you don't realize is that it hurts when you don't tell me things. It makes me feel like I'm not worthy enough or that you don't trust me. Even though you say you do.
5. I miss you so bad it hurts. I miss both of you! WE miss you. You know, those girls you practically grew up with. We've known you guys since fucking 1st grade. Don't you think that's a little much to throw away?! I guess not, cause both of you did. And you did it like we meant nothing. That's a slap in the face. No, that would've been better than being tossed to the curb like trash. 'Best friends' my ass.
6. I tried so fucking hard to know you from the inside out. It obviously didn't work or I wouldn't be bitching about it. You don't know how much it hurt to be shut out by you. My friends say I'm ruining your life, and I ask myself "How?" 'Cause even though I've tried to convince you that you're not a fuck up, I'm starting to believe that, to say the least, you're heartless.
7. You never judge me. I'm pretty sure you're one out of five that don't. You're a rare friend and I'm so glad that you've been my friend for so long. Even if we drift apart, you are someone I will stick up for no matter what. I'm almost certain I don't deserve a friend like you.
8. I'm trusting you. I'm trusting you with my heart. Again. Please prove me wrong. I'm absolutely terrified that this is going to be another case of deja vu. I can honestly say you are the only boy I've ever loved and fell in love with. I can see you and me going far in this life. I don't want any one else to look at me the way you do. Despite the feelings that take over my thoughts, I'm not entirely sure that I'm ready for this.
