But not forgetting about,
How all my worst fears are letting out.
He said why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
When breathing just passes the time,
Until we all just get old and die.
Now talking is just a waste of breath,
And living's just a waste of death.
And why put a new address on the same old loneliness?
And this is you and me and me and you until we've got nothing left."
Do you know that feeling, when your talking to someone and they say one thing that you think hints to something terrible? That universal 'bad feeling in the pit of your stomach'? The feeling you get when someone you care about tells you they're sorry when you don't know what they've done, or the feeling you get when a friend is about to tell you something possibly life-changing. You sense it. You feel it approaching and you get this feeling. Why? What is it? Why do we feel it? Is it our body's way of warning us of something? Or is it normally a false pretense?
It comes spontaneously, without warning. It comes fast, and hard. It comes so fast and hard that you're totally caught off guard. It comes like a slap in the face or a bus crashing into you, tearing you apart. It makes you think, "Holy fuck. That actually happened. It's not a dream, I am not dreaming. It's completely and utterly real."
Whenever I get it, I start thinking. I think too hard. My stomach hurts, as if someone's punched something that isn't there. My heart hurts, as if someone has locked a cage around it and I can't feel anything. The feeling spreads throughout my whole entire body. Before I know it, I'm numb. I'm swallowed by this wave of nothingness that is so extremely heavy. It's the biggest weight on my shoulders but it weighs nothing whatsoever. The numbness continues throughout my body, starting at my core and going through my legs and arms, it even goes to the tip of my toes. It feels like I can't move, I wiggle and move around to see if I'm still there. The only part of me that isn't gone is my head because I'm thinking so intently on what is causing this feeling. It's as if I'm a floating head.
That feeling is ridiculously addicting AND somehow causes the worst pain.
