If it's a broken arm then brace it. If it's a broken part, replace it. If it's a broken heart then face it.

I'm facing it.

And let me tell you, what I'm looking at is messy and it's gonna take a long time to put back together.

Hold your tongue.

You know nothing about this. Don't even get involved. I hope you watch as I'm falling down because you are the reason I'm hitting the ground. You can be the one that breaks me, you will be the one that breaks me now. I hope you know that every tear you cry is a memory left from when you watched me die. You know I'll haunt your dreams with all these pieces that you stole from me.

Lately, I've been feeling very lost and confused, like nothing made sense, like I couldn't grasp anything whether it be a simple sentence or a complex problem. I feel like I'm losing my mind. But then I wondered, What if this is a coping method? What if this is my body's way of coping with this pain that I feel 24/7. It makes sense because I always used to think about you, so now it's routine and now that I'm trying to get over you (TRYING), my brain is making me immune to all things that remind me of you. Which, by the way, is practically everything. Therefore, I'm completely numb and I can't think. Wow. Thank you for making me retarded.

This is my only explanation to why I'm feeling the way I do. It's an educated guess.

OH! Question: Who tells someone they love them and always will, then four days later have a girlfriend?

A) An asshole B) The most hurtful boy on planet Earth C) The most hurtful boy on planet Earth that I'm still in love with or D) All of the above.


ANSWER is D.

V.

Why is it that after I've sworn you off for good, I see you and it almost falters the wall I've built to protect myself from you? There I was, contemplating a current situation that had ABSOLUTELY nothing to do with you, I look up, BAM!, there you are. My heart literally thudded. Twice. Maybe three times. Then it sped up and I was filled with dread. WHY DO YOU HATE ME!? Get outta here. Seriously.

IV.

I'm strangely so happy and content without you. To be honest with you, I didn't know this was possible. I think I'm starting this new process that's beyond all of the others. Do not try to ruin this for me. Don't try to bring yourself back into this life of mine. I promise you, I won't let you in so easily like I've done so many times before. I'll shut you out. And let me tell you, you'll miss me when I'm gone.
(:

This time

I need a soldier, a really badass soldier.
A boy who knows how to take care of me, I'm so damn glad that's over.
This time I need a soldier, I'm sick of toy soldiers.

Oh yes. Bring on the men. Fuck you little boys.
>:D

III.

I'm not settling for anything less than the best, strange as it may sound...I think I already found what I'm looking for.

II.

I will never lose my virginity to someone like you, to someone who treats me like shit.

I.

You're kidding me, right? Don't you ever say you love me again. I can't believe you. You don't love me. Leave me alone. Thanks a fucking lot. You've broken my heart.

Nightmares.

"I wish I could rip out a page of my memory cause I put too much energy in him and me. Can't wait 'till I get through this phase, cause it's killing me. Too bad we can't rewrite our own history. It's such a mystery when he's here with me, it's hard to believe I'm still lonely. Chances fading now, patience running out. This ain't how it's supposed to be. I'm having nightmares from sleeping with the enemy. How do we reverse the chemistry? I don't want us to be the end of me. This love is taking all of my energy."

Days like these make me wonder why I need you out of all people. I'm not one to complain. I've got good, true friends who would stick up for me and never leave my side. I've got a good stable family without any issues or problems. I do good in school. I play a sport I love. And I've got everything I could possibly want...Well except for you. Why is it that I SHOULD love my life and value every second of it, but I don't. I can't value hardly any of it because you're not in it. Why can't I be grateful for the things I have, that others would kill for? Why would I kill to have you? Perfect days, like the one I've had today, where I wake up, I'm excited because it's my friends birthday, I laugh until my face hurts because my friends are just that great and I don't get ANY homework so I can go over to my friend's house to spend 6 hours walking to McDonald's and eating, then going out with my 2nd family to eat a 2nd dinner, make me so fucking happy. No one gets it. It's so simple and it's carefree and it's just nice. But as usual, I come home, I take for granted my family that is, thank god, still together, and I sit in my room by myself. This sucks out some of the energy I had throughout the day. And then when it becomes the time where I'm tired enough to fall asleep, I get ready for bed and I crawl under the covers. This is when I think about you. After every wonderful thing that happened that day, I always end up hating my life at the end of it. All because I don't have you.

Gulp, gulp, gulp.

Why is alcoholism cool when you're a young adult and looked down upon when you're an adult? It's a disease so it should be treated like one. And in my opinion it ruins lives. It ruins the lives of the victims and the lives of the friends and family of the victim. Drinking is fun but don't get me wrong, when it becomes a must-have, it becomes a problem. I don't understand why the majority of today's generation don't treat it like one.